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I turn my face from left to right. “Do you like it?”

“Sky’s paying for the pizza,” I say. “And the tip.”

I get why the teachers say he’s direct. He’s like a bulldozer sometimes.

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“He’s gay. For sure.” Sky’s sitting on the backrest of the bench, right behind Alissa and me. It’s just the three of us. The rest of the park is deserted.

But what happens if the Game Master has no intention of letting them go?

Sky points at his eyebrow. “So much gunk came out! I could have made it into a smoothie.”

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“Are you gay?” Sky asks.

“What’s that in your nose?”

Since when has Alissa wanted a piercing? I try to imagine what it would look like on her, a little ring through her eyebrow.

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Sky’s handsome too, but his rough-and-tough exterior scares a lot of people off. Which seems like a great idea to me.

When I was little, I used to spend hours awake in bed, waiting for my dad finally to come back safely from work. I didn’t dare close my eyes until he was home. Sometimes I didn’t manage to stay awake. Then I’d wake up with a start in the middle of the night and run barefoot to my mom and dad’s room. When I saw the lump on his side of the bed, I’d sneak back to my room, feeling relieved.

Sky lights his cigarette. “No need to get pissed. Gay people are cool.”

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A few minutes later, we’re riding our bikes into the upscale neighborhood where Mint lives. The first time I went to her house, I couldn’t believe my eyes. But Mint’s dad is a lawyer, so he earns way more than my dad, who works for the fire department.

So they’re talking about Miles, who works at the pizzeria with Sky. I’ve never seen him before, but Alissa’s mentioned him a few times.

But there was no one else there. We were the only ones in the classroom.

Did your siblings abuse you growing up? Not your parents, specifically your siblings, or other children in the household you were raised with.

I thought this was just about a bet, but Alissa smiled at Miles the way only she could. Her boy-slaying smile.

After a few months, he went back full-time and seemed to have forgotten it all.

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Get locked in a room.

I follow Alissa’s gaze to Sky’s eyebrow piercing, which he had done a while ago. When he turned up at school the next day, the skin around the piercing was red and swollen. I touched my eyebrow, which also hurt for a few days.

Miles

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She came up to my desk that first morning and asked if the seat next to me was taken. Alissa was the kind of girl who could have sat anywhere. She was so incredibly beautiful. Her eyes were the color of the sea on the Italian coast, where I’d spent the summer. I looked around suspiciously. Where were her giggling friends, laughing at me from a distance because I’d fallen for it?

Caitlin’s in our year at school. If I squint, they even look a bit like each other. But Caitlin’s blue eyes don’t match up to the real thing.

“Of course.”

According to the Gita, how do I abandon fruits of my karma? Should I donate my whole salary and stay hungry?

Did Sky tell her my name?

“One pepperoni pizza?” The boy takes out a pizza box. The scent of melted cheese makes my mouth water.

He kisses me on the forehead and closes the front door behind him. I watch through the glass as he rides his bike out of the front yard.

Is homosexuality an excommunicable offense in Christianity?

Can I feel other people’s pain? Is that possible? It feels supernatural, weird. And if anyone finds out, I’ll get even more of a reputation for being crazy.

Nothing’s changed here, and yet everything has changed.

I’d like to cut everyone else out of the photo, but this way Alissa can come into my room without realizing what’s up. There’s no need to worry about Mint. She spends half her time floating in another dimension.

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In the window of number 39, there’s still a line of wooden cows on the ledge. I used to spend ages looking at them when I was a little kid. Dad stood patiently beside me as I counted them and gave them all names.

Alissa, Sky, Miles, and Mint are ready for a night of fun at the Escape Room.

“Sure.”

What are the differences between fuzzy, intuitionistic, and paraconsistent logic? Which one is considered the most useful and why?

“Alissa.”

I swallow the pizza. “And who are you?”

Miles stands out, not because he’s good-looking, but because he doesn’t seem to want to be. It’s as if his looks torment him somehow. And that’s something I recognize.

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“You think?” Alissa looks at the boy. “Hey, Miles.”

Sky

“You belong with me,” I say quietly to the photo. “You just need to see it.”

My stomach’s churning, like I’m about to take an important exam.

But I haven’t forgotten.

“Yep. It’s for us.” Then Sky points at Alissa. “She’s paying.”

Sky’s voice brings me back to the present. “Let’s bet for a pizza,” he says. “And Miles can deliver it. Perfect.”

“And who are you?” asks Miles.

Dad used to scream the whole house awake. Nightmares, Mom said, but that was an understatement.

Miles

Find the clues.

These days I do sleep, but never very deeply.

I’m not sure I want to forget her.

One night, when Dad was on duty, four people died in a fire, including one of his fellow firefighters. A beam burned through and collapsed on the guy’s head.

Alissa. Every pizza I deliver for the rest of the evening, I’m thinking about her. As I ride my scooter home, I can still see her bare neck.

It's simple.

I hated that Fenna had to go through that. I wanted to do something to help, but I didn’t know what.

I’ve never talked to Miles, but whenever I go to meet Sky at work, I watch him from a distance.

Absolutely none of it was his fault, but the accident still changed him. Dad stayed home from work, wandering around the house like a ghost. Even the firefighters who’d been with him that night couldn’t get through to him.

Now and then I watch the documentary again. I see the dark circles under my eyes, which look anxiously into the camera.

Alissa

Miles puts the last bit of pizza into his mouth and stands up. “Got to go.”

“Miles has half an hour to get here. After that, the pizza’s free.”

“Where to?"

Alissa gives him a shove and he nearly falls off the back of the bench. “Stop! You’re going to scare me out of it.”

I curse to myself.

Mint’s mom gives me a quick nod but then turns back to her daughter. “A deal is a deal.”

So when a documentary maker asked me if I’d interview the effects of the fire on our family, I said yes immediately. The documentary was broadcast on a kids’ channel, and I hoped I’d be able to help someone, even if it was just one person.

Is he leaving because Sky asked that question? I realize that I’m riled up. I want Miles to look at me again the way he just did. It was like he could see much more than my exterior.

“To get the piercing?”

A few minutes later, a scooter with a big blue trunk on the back drives into the park.

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“Nice.” Mint went so pale as the needle sank into my nose. It was like she was the one who was suffering.

But her voice sounds like she’s singing. Her eyes are an endless blue. And she smells like autumn sunshine.

At first, I thought it was a coincidence, but then when Alissa broke her wrist in the gym, mine was painful for weeks too.

How is that possible? All this time, I’ve never gone the wrong way. I settled into our new place immediately.

Mint

Fenna would climb into my bed, terrified, whenever Dad started screaming. I’d hold her until she fell asleep.

At the door, Mint reaches for her keys, but the light in the hallway goes on and her mom opens up.

I pick up the photo and hold it close to my face. There’s a small worn patch where I sometimes press my lips to it. We’re standing close together, our arms touching.

I have no idea who my two best friends are talking about. Their conversations often pass me by, like I’m on the other side of a wall.

“Here.” The pretty girl passes me the box. As I eat my slice, I dare to take a closer look at her. There has to be something about her that’s disappointing, something that’ll help me to forget about her later.

I hesitate because I need to get going, but something about her voice makes me stop.

Alissa likes him.

I can see part of her bare neck.

What would it feel like to kiss that soft bit of skin?

I fall back onto my bed and look at the group photo on my nightstand. Having it there makes it hard for me to sleep, but it’s even harder without it.

A girl with blond hair and a red scarf around her neck comes jogging into the park. As she passes us, she flashes me a quick smile.

Alissa waves a five-dollar bill around. It reminds me of the first day of junior high. I thought Alissa had made a bet then too.

Choose their game.

“Don’t think so.” Alissa takes out her wallet. “How much do you want to bet?”

I know I should go, but somehow I find myself taking off my helmet and sitting down beside her.

All they need to do is get out.

I’m startled by my thought. After Karla, I made up my mind never to feel anything for a girl again. It’s easier to reject them all than to let anyone get close. Because when they get close, they start asking questions. Questions I can’t answer.

“Where’s that pizza?” Alissa asks impatiently.

“Stop it.” Alissa quickly straightens her T-shirt. It’s a small gesture, but I can tell she’s nervous.

Why can’t I shake it off?

“It’s almost time for your break, isn’t it? Come on, have some.” Seems the girl with the blue eyes knows not just my name, but my work schedule too.

The memory’s painful.

It got loads of positive reactions from all kinds of young people, which pulled me through that tough time.

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Miles shakes his head irritably. “No, I’m not gay.”

My heart skips a beat when I see that nothing’s changed. The sidewalk is lower in one place, where I could always ride over it on my bike without bumping the back wheel.

“He’s on his way, so now we just have to wait and see.” Sky puts his phone in his pocket and casually rolls a cigarette. He never has actual packs of cigarettes. Sky always does everything just a little bit differently from everyone else.

“What do you think?” I ask yet again when we’re both on our bikes.

A couple of weeks ago in Textile Studies, we had to make dresses out of garbage bags. Alissa pulled hers over her head, grabbed hold of it on one side, and shot a staple through the plastic. Then she paraded around the classroom like she was on a catwalk. Some of the boys started whistling. Even in a garbage bag, she was stunning.

The situation with Dad seemed to be going on forever, but at a certain point, it gradually started to get better. They gave him medication to calm him down. He saw a psychologist and, with the help of the other firefighters, he was even able to go back to work for half days.

I don’t realize where I am until I’m almost at the front door. This is my old street.

It’s only then that I notice the other girl on the bench. She’s leaning forward slightly, with her straight hair hanging over her face like two curtains. She doesn’t quite seem to belong.

My dad’s already in his firefighter uniform when I come into the hallway.

Dad tries to look stern, but then he bursts out laughing. “I think it’s cool. Hey, your mom will be home soon. Ruben and Koby are upstairs. Will you give Fenna a hand with her math homework?”

Sky grabs my wrist and looks at my watch. “Bang on time. Typical Miles. You see? He’s a punctual gay guy.”

The girl smiles. “Want a slice?”

“You coming?” I ask Mint as she gets on her bike.

The people who lived in the house were in the bedrooms on the second floor, and no one could reach them. Dad tried to get through, but it was too dangerous. In the end, all he could do was stand and watch helplessly as the whole house burned down.

At home, I sometimes stare at myself in the mirror. I don’t dare get a tattoo, but how about a piercing? Once I put a dot on the side of my nose with a Sharpie. The thought of a stud in my nose instantly made me feel stronger.

Certainly not since last Christmas.

We’re sitting so close that Miles’s leg is touching mine. He’s looking at me as if he hopes to find something in my face. His eyes scan every inch of my skin.

“Now?” Mint smiles. She knows I have no patience. When I have an idea, it has to happen right away.

Alissa

Even now, I still feel that scared sometimes.

Alissa doesn’t have a clue that I only started dating Caitlin to divert attention.

Boys like to check me out, and it drives me crazy. Andreas is the last boy I kissed, and I did like him. But after our kiss, I heard him bragging about it like I wasn’t even a person, just some “hot” girl.

Miles breaks in front of our bench and gives Sky a wave. When he lifts the visor of his helmet, I see two bright blue eyes, like Alissa’s. But there’s something cold about these eyes. They have nothing to do with the Italian sea but are more like icy water. I get a weird feeling that I can’t quite identify.

When I get home, I turn the amp for my electric drum kit up high. Drumming always works, but not this time. Even after playing for half an hour, I still feel angry. I pull off my headphones.

I’ve seen this girl before. She meets Sky after work sometimes. I noticed her immediately because she had the same blue eyes as me. Dad used to say I was the only one except him with blue peepers like this, but he was wrong. This girl’s eyes are hypnotic.

“Mom . . .” Mint blushes.

I know Mint’s mom can get, like, totally panicky, but it still shocks me every time. She talks to Mint like she’s a little kid. My younger sister’s nine, and not even she gets treated that much like a baby.

I don’t like it when people know my name and I don’t know theirs. Feels like I’m down 1–0.

“Did it hurt?” I hear Alissa ask. I’m back on the bench in the park. What were they talking about now?

“Where were you?”